It’s been a while since my last post. Sorry baby, it's been real hard and I’ve been busy. You may be wondering why I haven’t kept in contact. I’m super-sorry. You also might be wondering why I chose now, ten o’clock on a Friday night on a three-day weekend to get in touch with you. Again, I feel awful and you must be terribly irate. You’re the only blog for me.
That’s not enough?
Well, in that case, let me tell you all about Alien. Alien is about an HR Geiger painting that comes to life and kills bunch of guys on a space barge. Why is it called ‘Alien?’ Good question blog. It’s called Alien because the alien is an alien—a Xenomorph to be precise. It’s special because on top of being able to jump out and scare you it also has a tiny mouth inside its regular mouth. The small mouth ends up doing most of the alien’s dirty work, but technically, Ripley has a higher kill count than the alien. Let’s see: the alien kills Parker, Lambert and Cane and Ripley kills Dallas, Brett, Ash, and the alien. Jonesy doesn’t kill anybody. The Alien has several stages of life and metapomorphosizes a couple times throughout the movie. It starts as an egg and develops into a facehugger. The facehugger hugs faces and jams an ovipositor into its host’s throat. A few days later, a young alien bursts through its host’s chest like a prairie dog through a cherry pie and scuttles across the room where it hides for a few hours. It sheds its skin and becomes a 7-foot tall walking phallus with acid blood. The alien is never given a gender, but I always thought of it as female. For one, all of the humans’ names are masculine or androgynous and two, because the alien is very feminine in design. Penis-head aside, it is smooth (like a lady) and it kind of looks like a car. And as we all know, all cars are ladies.
Here’s an interesting point: aliens are cool because they take characteristics from their hosts. Cane walked on two legs, so the alien had two legs. In the third movie, a face hugger hugs a dog, so the alien is a quadruped. Maybe if Cane wasn’t such a jerk, the creature would have been more docile, I don’t know. Point is, the alien represents humans as much as the humans do.
And hey, check it out: when an facehugger hugs a Predator, the resulting alien has cool Rasta dreads.
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